The 1st day of 2nd Phase of Isolate Days
We got up at 7.00 clock, waited for the breakfast delivery man to knock on the door. But he was late today. After finished breakfast, we got dressed and put our pillowcases and sheets and everything into luggage. We did a final check of our luggage. A worker came to take our temperature and required us to wear the rubber white gloves that gave us by another worker yesterday.
I wore the white gloves and said to MeinMann: “They're oversized for my hand. Do we have to wear these rubber gloves?" He said, " You have no choice. Put them on later when you go out this room." Then I wore a mask and the rubber gloves.
As we moved all our suitcases to the front of the higher bus, all the people I saw that they wore protective suit, mask, and medical goggle. A man in a protective suit was watching us. Someone sanitized our luggage. Someone shouted our names, called out for us to get on the higher bus. Before we got on the bus, there was a man in a protective suit, and he had an infrared thermometer in his hand. He took my forehead temperature with an infrared thermometer, then required me to open my palm with rubber gloves. He squeezed a pump of disinfectant into my palm and told me to rub my hand clean. My hands were wearing white rubber gloves... the coldness of the disinfectant was contrasted with my warn palms with rubber gloves, which were still loose on my hands, immediately, the rubber gloves were sticky. I was reminded of Out of Africa, where Karen asks the natives (maids of black) to wear white gloves to work because she is afraid that the blacks will put their fingerprints on the glass. It was a shock to me to see such a movie scenario of white people making black people wear white gloves in my real life.
When I got on the bus, I saw our names and was assigned of a document on the seat. I sat down and read the document on the seat. The pink paper began with the title: "Concentrative Health Observation Notice". The "Concentrative” word reminded me about concentration camp. This word caught my eye and stood out. I felt bad to see such a word. However, the next thing that happened in the higher bus broke my psychological defence.
While the bus was heading towards the next hotel, an adult male asked the staff on bus if he could get out of the bus to go to the toilet due to the higher bus without toilet. The staff was very firmly that the bus would not stop for the next three hours until we reached the next isolated hotel. He was then handed a large, extra-long sanitary pad to the male and asked him to use and to solve his problem. "If it is not enough, I'll give you one more." the staff pranked. A female passenger laughed, unfortunately the laugh did nothing to resolve the embarrassment.
At this point the bus pulled up in front of another isolation hotel, waiting for the next wave of isolate people to board.
I turned to my husband and said, "That is disgusting and unacceptable!!” My husband didn't say anything, his eyes signalled me do not to say anything. I was furious, so I unbuckled my seat belt and stood up. He asked alertly, "What are you doing?"
I said, "I'm going to tell that man that he can go to the toilet in this hotel now. He can talk to the staff."
“He is not allowed!” answered firmly Meinmann, “then you can try.”
There was a look of unspeakable anger in his eyes, he restrained himself, he said, "Go on then." He looked at me, he had his grievances, he wasn't stopping me, but I knew that if I got into any trouble, he would have to take responsibility for my impending 'mistake'. I looked at his eyes. I was so helpless. A wave of anger, resentment and enmity flowed through my heart. I thought of the novels I had read, the ones about Auschwitz, and I was filled with fear and desolation.
In the glassed-in front of the car, a staff member stared at me, and under his gaze, I sat down and buckled my seat belt. I realised that I wasn't living in a novel, I was living. I was living in a moment where I was so powerless but had to be silent in order to protect myself and Meinmann. I said to my Meinmann, with angry sobs, "I just know this isn't right."
With all the isolators on board, the bus started to move. There were three "armed" (isolate onesie) escorts on the bus who watched us the whole time. I stopped looking at them and for some reason, I hated them at that moment. They had thought that someone would need to go to the toilet, but they had prepared sanitary pads, extra-long and extra-large ones, and they were flirting with this behaviour in such a joking way. It could have been done in a more humane way, but instead they solved the problem in a way that was almost insulting. It was not only insulting to the person who wanted to go to the toilet, but to all of us passengers. Do passengers want to spend three hours trip smelling of urine and shit on the bus? But I don't know who they are and it's really them I hate - these guys?
For the next three hours I drifted off to sleep. I turned my head to one side, knowing that I was in a mood and not wanting to look at the gentleman, let alone at the staff in protective clothing. But I was sitting by the back door of the car, the door was leaking, the landscape was occasionally snowy, the temperature was barely 5 degrees and my feet were freezing. The white rubber gloves on my hands stick to my warm hands and I'm sweating. I took off my gloves, wiped the sweat from my hands with a tissue, bent down and rubbed my hands together to warm my feet. The car was like a cooler. When my husband saw what I was doing, he took off the hood of my down jacket and let me wrap my feet around it. I bet I didn't want to. My feet were still too cold, so I took his down hood and wrapped my feet around it. I took his hat and wrapped it around my feet until I arrived at another isolated hotel in 10 minutes.
For the next three hours I drifted off to sleep. I turned my face to outside, knowing that I was in a mood and not wanting to look at the Meinmann, let alone at the staff in protective clothing who were sitting in the front of the bus. I felt alone. I was sitting by the back door of the car, the door was leaking, the landscape was occasionally snowy, the temperature was barely 5 degrees, and my feet were freezing. The white rubber gloves on my hands stick to my warm hands and I'm sweating. I took off my gloves, wiped the sweat from my hands with a tissue, bent down and rubbed my hands together to warm my feet. The bus was like a cooler. When my Meinmann saw what I was doing, he took off the hood of his jacket and let me wrap my feet around it. I bet I didn't want to. My feet were still too cold, so I took his hood and wrapped my feet around it. 10 minutes before I arrived at another isolated hotel, my feet have feeling like I could walk again.
The bus stopped and a large group of staff in protective onesie came by. I saw "doctor", "nurse" and police officers on their white onesie suits. The others white onesie’s people, I guess, as part of the isolate hotel staff. Some people stood up and tried to move around but were told to stop. All of us were not labelled. When all the people with white protective onesie took their places, the bus door opened. One of staff did not allow us to get out of the bus, she asked that only those whose names she read be allowed to get out and put on rubber gloves, with the police standing beside her. Soon my name and my meinmann's name were read out. We were allowed to get off the bus. As we got out of the bus, a worker with a kit of disinfectant sprayed us. He told us to lift our feet and show the soles of our shoes, and he sprayed a lot of disinfectant on t my shoes. As I had a scarf and a hat with me, my body was not directly sprayed with the disinfectant. But Meinmann without hat and scarf, he was sprayed on his neck and he was shivering from the cold. I could see that he was shivering a bit. The doctor immediately came over to take our temperature, told us to stretch our hands, and showed him our palms. He poured a large drop of disinfectant on our hands and required us to disinfect ourselves.
Finished the process of disinfection, we started to take our suitcases. One of the staff shouted, "Move on!!!" I slowly, deliberately slowly, pushed my suitcase forward from the pile of wet suitcases. But I walked faster, towards the building, it was raining outside, it was so cold!!! My Meinmann and I got closer and immediately got another scolding. The voice said, "Don't come any closer, keep your distance! Everyone must keep their distance!" We were standing a gentle slope, I was inattentive, my suitcase slipped off and I grabbed it. A man behind me walked forward to where I was in line and followed my Meinmann, while I had to pull my luggage behind him in line. In a few moments, my Meinmann disappeared from my sight.
Soon it was my turn. Before entering a building(isolate hotel), there was a table in front of the gate with a test kit and a list of names. One of the two persons in protective Onesie asked, "What is your name?" I gave my name, and they took out a cotton swab and told me to open my mouth; then they took out another swab. I asked, "Could you please be a little gentle?" Then "Anyway, that is pain even if I take it gentle! Please take cooperation!" Then in one swift movement, the cotton swab was pushed into my nasal cavity. Tears came out of my eyes. I put my mask back on and went into the building. There was a long table with two policemen, and my Meinmann was waiting for me there. It was very cold and humid inside the building. I saw my Meinmann shivering in the cold, so I got my pen and signed with the suitcase in hand. Finally we took the lift and got into the room. We put the suitcase down and hugged each other. In that moment, in this room, we held back our tears and comforted each other. We rubbed each other's backs and told each other, "It's fine. It will pass." My Meinmann said, "I know how you feel, I understand." I hold my tears. In his arms, I was once again strengthened and warmed.
Later, he told me that one of the staff in the car was a police officer, so he kept telling me with his eyes to restrain myself. He said, "There were police officers watching us the whole time, we were like criminals."
But thankfully, the isolation room was no longer a mouldy room. The bed was bigger too, not a hard bed. We are happy in this isolate room.
I packed my bags and took our everyday stuff out of the suitcase. My Meinmann went to the bathroom and to the shower, where he excitedly told me, "There's hot water! Let's take a hot shower and rest later."
Oh, what an another exhausting day!
今天的早餐遲到了,我們起床穿好衣服,等著送早餐的人敲門。吃过早餐,我们收好行李,最后检查了一遍。测量体温的人来给我们测量体温,并告知我们让我们带好昨天由工作人员送来的橡胶白手套。
我戴上白手套后,和先生说:“太大了,这是超大号的,不适合我。”他说:“那等会出门再戴吧。”
当我们把行李箱都挪到大巴前,有人继续消毒我们的箱子。有人点名让我们上车。上车前,有一个穿着防護服,他手裡拿著紅外體溫計。他往我的眉心滴了一下,讓我把手掌打開,他往我掌心裡擠了一泵消毒水,讓我把手搓乾淨了。可是我的手帶著橡膠白手套⋯⋯消毒水的冰冷和我的掌心形成對比,橡膠手套在手上還是寬鬆的,但冷熱交替,橡膠手套就立刻癡黏著手。
剛上車的我就看到了我們的名字,指定了座位,我和我先生不能坐到一起,我們必須分開坐。一個穿著防護服的警察盯著我們。我想到了《走出非洲》Out of Africa,凱倫要求土著(黑人家傭)戴上白手套工作,因為害怕黑人把指紋印在玻璃杯上。這樣白人讓黑人戴上白手套的電影情節,出現在我的現實生活中,讓我有種衝擊感。
當我上車後,我坐在指定的位置,閱讀座位上的文件,粉紅色的紙張開頭的題目是:《集中健康觀察告知書》。集中這兩個字映入眼裡,顯得非常刺眼。集中,concentration。我的心理咯噔一下。隨後在車上的一幕,擊破了我的心理防線。我心裡非常難受。
當大巴向向下一個酒店駛去時,一名成年男性向車上的工作人員提出想上廁所。工作人員非常堅定地告訴他,未來的三個小時的車程中,大巴車不會停止,直到我們抵達下一個隔離酒店。隨後,工作人員遞給他一條加大號超長的衛生棉,讓他用這個解決問題。工作人員戲謔道:“不夠我再給妳一條。”一個女人的笑聲傳過來,沒有化解大家的尷尬。
這時車停在來另一個隔離酒店門前,等待下一波隔離人員上車。
我轉向我先生,說:“that is disgusting!!I totally can’t accept IT!!!”先生不說話,眼神示意我不要說話。我很氣憤,解開安全帶,站立起來。先生警覺地問:“你要幹嘛?”
我說:“我要去告訴那個男生,他現在可以去這個酒店上找廁所。他可以跟工作人員說。”
先生的眼神傳來一股難以言喻的憤怒,他克制著,他說:“那你去吧。”他看向我,他有他的委屈,他不攔著我,但我知道,接下來如果我惹了什麼麻煩,他必須承擔我即將“犯錯”的責任。我看著他的眼神。我非常的無奈。我的內心一股憤懣,委屈和不甘的情緒流動著。我想起我看過的小說,那些關於奧斯威辛集中營的小說,我心裡泛起無限恐懼和荒涼。
車上擱著玻璃的前排,有個工作人員盯著我,在他的目光中,我坐下來,扣好安全帶。我意識到我不是活在小說裡,我活在現實中。我活在這一個非常無能為力但為了保護好自己,只能沈默不語的時刻裡。我帶著憤懣的哭腔和我先生說:“我只知道這是不對的。”
隨著隔離人員全部上車後,大巴開始行駛。車上坐了三個全副“武裝”(隔離服)的隨行人員全程盯著我們。我不再望向他們,不知道為何,那一刻,我很恨這些人。他們明明也想到人有人會需要上廁所,而他們卻準備了衛生棉,加長加大號的衛生棉,並且還要以這樣一種戲謔的方式來調侃這種行為。這個事情明明可以做得更人性化,他們卻以一種近乎於侮辱人的方式來解決問題。這不僅侮辱了那個想上廁所的人,而是侮辱了我們所有乘客。難道乘客就想在車上聞到尿味和屎味嗎?作為乘客的我們就該聞著屎味尿味度過三個小時的車程嗎????但我不知道他們是誰,我恨的真的是他們——這幾個人嗎??
接下來的三個小時中,我昏昏欲睡,我把頭撇向一邊,我知道自己的情緒起來了,我不想看向先生,更不想瞅見這幾個穿著防護服的工作人員。可是我坐在車後門旁,車門漏風,車外的風景偶有積雪未化,溫度不過5度,我的腳快凍僵了。手上的橡膠白手套黏著我的溫的手,悶出汗。車上貼著“嚴禁摘脫口罩”,我賭氣地脫下手套,拿紙巾擦擦手上的汗,彎下腰,用手使勁搓熱腳掌。整個車廂像個冷櫃,先生看到我的動作,他把羽絨服的帽子拆下,讓我裹著腳。我賭氣不要。後來腳還是太冷了,我拿過他的羽絨帽子,裹著腳。直至還有十分鐘就要抵達另一個隔離酒店,我把先生的帽子還給他。
車停了,一大群穿著防護服的工作人員過來。我看到防護服外貼著“醫生”,“護士”,和警察;至於其他沒貼標籤的人,我猜,應該是隔離酒店的工作人員。有些人站立起來想活動活動,但是被喝止了。車門打開,工作人員不准我們下車,她要求只有她唸到名字的才能下車,並且戴好橡膠手套,警察站在她身旁。很快,我和先生的名字被唸到。我們被允許下車了。當我們下車時,一個扛著消毒箱的工作人員對著我們噴消毒水。他讓我們抬腳,把鞋底露出來,他對著我的鞋底噴了很多消毒水。由於我帶了圍巾和帽子,我的身體並未直接被消毒水噴灑到。而先生沒有,先生的脖子被噴了些消毒水,冷得他直哆嗦。我看到他身體有點發抖。醫生立刻過來給我們量體溫,讓我們伸手,又是一大坨消毒液倒在我們的手上,讓我們自我消毒。
完成這些後,我們開始拿我們的行李箱。但一個工作人員大喊:“快往前走!!!”我慢慢的,故意慢慢的,從一堆的濕答答的行李箱中推走自己的行李箱向前走。我想走快點,向建築物裡走去,戶外下著雨,太冷了!!我和我先生走得靠近一些,立刻引來另一個呵斥。那個聲音說:“不許靠近,保持距離!!每個人都必須保持距離!”那是個緩坡,我一個不留神,我的行李箱滑落,我趕緊拉住。另一個人走到了我原排隊的位置,跟著我先生,而我只好拉著行李,排在他後面。不一會兒,先生消失在我的視線裡。
很快到我了,進入一棟建築物前,門口放著一張桌子,桌上放著檢測試劑和名單。兩個穿著防護服的人,一個問:“你叫什麼名字”我報了自己的姓名,對方拿出棉籤,讓我張嘴;然後拿出另一個棉籤,我請求說:“可以輕一點嗎?”對方不耐煩地說:“我再輕你也會感覺到疼的!”然後一下子,把棉籤捅進我的鼻腔裡。我眼淚出來了。我重新戴好口罩,進入到建築物內。那裡還有一張長桌子,做著兩個警察,我先生在那等著我,他已經簽好名,讓我過去簽名。建築物內很冷,濕氣很大。我看到我先生在那冷得發抖,我趕緊那好筆,簽名。推著行李箱,我們乘坐電梯,終於進入房間內了。我們放好行李箱,彼此擁抱。那一刻,在這個房間內,我們忍住淚水,彼此安慰。我們撫摸彼此地背部,告訴對方:“過去了。”先生說:“你的感受我都懂,我都懂。”我點點頭。在先生的懷裡,我又一次獲得力量和溫暖。
後來,先生告訴我,車上的工作人員有一個是警察,所以他一直用眼神告訴我要克制。。
先生說:“全程都有警察監視著我們,我們就像罪犯一樣。”
但幸好,這個隔離房間不再是霉菌房了。床也大一點了,不是硬板床。我收拾行李,把我們日常用的東西從行李箱拿出來。先生去洗手間,去淋浴間,他興奮地告訴我:“有熱水!等下我們洗個熱水澡休息一下。”
又是让人疲惫不堪的一天!
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